What’s in a Name?

Imagine for a moment you’re standing at the edge of a cliff overlooking the ocean. You’re so close to the edge your toes hang off into the air and if you look down there’s a good chance you’ll fall face forward into the ocean below. You’re so close you may already be falling and don’t even know it yet. At this moment there are only two choices. One involves slowly taking a step back—taking in the view and eventually turning around and walking away. The other choice lies in front of you.

At its core, life is a series of choices.

Before & After the Jump is a metaphor for these choices, and a way to visualize nearly every decision we make in life.

I’ll explain.

We often define success or failure based upon the outcome of the choices we make. If a guy asks a girl on a date and she says “yes” then the choice was positive and the jump a success. On the other hand, if a guy asks a girl on a date and she says “no” then the choice was negative and the jump a failure.

So we go through life with this understanding that if we avoid making all but the safest jumps, in the end the number of successful jumps will outweigh the failures and we’ll be happier because of it.

But my question is this: Wherein lies the success or failure of our “jumps?” Going back to our example, is the guy successful because of the actions that led him to make the the jump, the jump itself, or the results following the jump?

Let’s play out a scenario:

Before the Jump: A twenty-something, single guy who we’ll call Michael notices a very attractive girl standing near the bar with her friends. She doesn’t appear to be with a boyfriend or have a ring on her finger. Her drink is running on fumes.

The Jump: “Hi, I’m Michael. Can I buy you a drink?”

After the Jump: “Um. My boyfriend can handle that thanks.”

Fail.

At least that’s what we’re conditioned to think. But where exactly did Michael fail? Was it his preparation—a.k.a. before the jump? Doubtful, as there would have been no way for him to know if she had a boyfriend or not based on the circumstances. In 99% of situations you will not have all the facts, nor would you necessarily be better off if you did have them. After all, would you be more or less inclined to jump off a cliff if I told you there was a 15% chance you’d hit a jagged rock on the way down? In this case, Michael made a reasonable call based on what his environment and gut told him. No failure here.

The jump, or action associated with his choice, was asking to buy the girl a drink. Assuming they are at a bar and the girl is holding a nearly empty glass, this is a reasonable jump. By “jumping” from a well-traveled platform (asking to buy a girl a drink at a bar isn’t exactly new territory), Michael minimized the backlash from even the most ill-timed, ill-fated jump. No failure here.

That leaves us with “after” the jump. What happened after he jumped wasn’t up to Michael. In many ways, it wasn’t even the most important part of the equation. The decision to make the jump was. The anticipation and excitement of doing something that took Michael out of his comfort zone. Doing something that led to a result he couldn’t control. It may have been an unpleasant landing, but the beauty is he made the jump. He did what 99% of guys would not have done. And now he knows.

When you get the chance to jump, do it. Most of your life is spent wondering if you should or shouldn’t do something. But you’ll never know unless you just do it. So quit wasting time and jump already.